That's when you crack a 10am beer
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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