After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
