There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
