I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
