i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
