She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
