its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
