he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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