So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
