we have officially lost it.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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