why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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