U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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