Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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