HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
