can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
