This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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