dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
