The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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