and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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