Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
