I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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