we're blogging at a bar
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I can't turn off my feet"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
