Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Randomize
