I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
