I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
