Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
