Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So vagazzling was a success
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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