I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
God gave him joint rollers for hands
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
