Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
