I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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