Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
