Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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