Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
