He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
