I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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