I love black thongs
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
