Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
