This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
