so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
