Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
