NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
