We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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