It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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