I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
