Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
