That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
