You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
