Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
