therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's blow job season.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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