He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
