I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
