no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
