Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
