The maid of honor just puked.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
