The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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