I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
