420 ftw
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
