Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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