honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
