You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
