Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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