I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
