Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
